So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
