Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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