Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
