there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
