There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
