Is it normal to miss your booty call?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
