it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
