Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
