I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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