In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
