no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
