I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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