I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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