Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize