small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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