miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
