just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
only you would photoshop your dick
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
