His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
