i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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