she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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