I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So squirting runs in the family.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
