No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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