he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
