This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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