if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize