Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
