This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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