A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
