Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
