it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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