Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize