So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
