to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Holy sore nipples Batman
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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