never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
