Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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