o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
this hospital has no fireball
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
