I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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