Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
