brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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