I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
