FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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