hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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