just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
this beer tastes like vomit already
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
