I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
