hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's blow job season.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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