Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
