you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
