Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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