i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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