he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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