Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
