I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
