There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
