I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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