then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
