please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
