It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i now understand why vodka
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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