New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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